A Fun and Simple Recipe for Eating the Rich

Brenna Sheets
3 min readMay 17, 2021

Are you in need of a festive dinner idea for Money-Hungry Monday? Our chefs over at “Deep Frying the Deep-Pocketed” have you covered!

Whether it be a thigh, leg, breast, or whole, this one easy recipe can make any slice of the 1% taste 100% better.

Photo taken from https://www.menshealth.com/health/a19533764/bad-breath-foods/

We’ve all been there: You’re heading home from the black market with your BOGO free cuts of the capitalist pigs, and the excitement starts pumping through your veins, almost as intensely as the Housewives of SLC star Jennifer Shah’s did during the height of her telemarketing scheme.

You’re eager to get home and cook up a steaming hot dinner with the tender meat of someone who had a net worth of $15 million, but wait — how are you going to make it taste as good as your revenge feels?

Sometimes it seems like no amount of money spent on spices or sauces can really bring out the pleasure — I mean flavor, of eating the rich.

We know how much pressure there is when it comes to making a delicious meal for you and all of your minimum-wage friends to devour out of warranted spite, so we’ve decided to share one of our favorite aristocrat appetizers.

Inspired by All Recipe’s Boneless Buffalo Wings, here are our most requested wings, but with a rich twist!

Wall Street Wanker Wings

These wings are to-die-for, and luckily for you, some Wall Street wanker already did! Because this sleazebag didn’t have a spine, these wings are best prepared boneless from the breasts of a “stockbroker.” Perfectly breaded to cover up a lifetime’s worth of fraudulent activity, this dish can be served up as a starter item or as a main course with a side of lies — I mean fries.


  1. The breast tissue of one Wall Street wanker

2. oil for vengeance-deep-frying

3. 1 cup unbleached all-purpose flour

4. 2 teaspoons salt

5. ½ teaspoon ground black pepper

7. ½ cup tears of Hollywood kids whose celebrity parents got caught trying to buy their ivy league admissions.

6. ½ teaspoon cayenne pepper

7. ¼ teaspoon garlic powder

8. ½ teaspoon burning rage

9. 1 egg

10. 1 cup milk

11. A few drops of inherited-wealth blood (just for that extra pizazz)

12. ¼ cup hot pepper sauce

13. 1 tablespoon butter


Step 1

  • Heat vengeance oil in a deep-fryer or large saucepan to 375 degrees F/190 degrees C (However hot your blood boils when you think of Jeff Bezos).

Step 2

  • Combine flour, salt, tears, black pepper, cayenne pepper, burning rage, garlic powder, blood, and paprika in a large bowl the size of the country’s wealth disparity. Whisk together the egg and milk in a tiny bowl, one about the size of a $2,000 Brooklyn apartment.

Step 3

  • Dip each piece of the rich in the egg mixture, and then roll in the flour blend. Repeat so that each piece of toff is double-coated (We want to REALLY cover up that fraudulent activity.) Refrigerate the breaded bastard for 20 minutes.

Step 4

  • Fry the moneybag in batches of piping hot oil. Don’t forget to take in that sweet, sweet smell of accountability. Cook until the exterior is nicely browned, and the sinful juices run clear, about 5 to 6 minutes a batch.

Step 5

  • Combine hot sauce and butter in a small bowl. Microwave sauce on High until melted, 20 to 30 seconds. Pour sauce over the cooked capitalist; mix to coat.

And there you have it! With these wings, you’ll be physically and morally fulfilled.

If you’re interested in making some more tasty treats, check out our other popular recipes below!

Business Bigot Burgers

Never-Filed Taxes Nachos

Snide Scammer Sushi

Going-to-hell Guacamole