Surprises Under Your Pancakes!

Here at Pancake Universe, we want to bring more than just our shockingly fantastic pancakes to the table. We know that after your exhausting day as town sheriff for the whole 20 people that live in Some-Southern-City-Nobody Has-Ever-Heard-of, Georgia, all you’re really looking for is that sweet taste of expired maple syrup, but we have plans to go the extra mile. Forget what your mother-in-law said about “consistency” and “reliable behavior,” we know you’re tired of the boring everyday routine: waking up at 6:00 a.m., taking the kids to school, escorting the cornmeal truck drivers all day long, and going home to Karen’s nagging because your shift ended at 7:00 p.m. and it’s 3:00 in the morning, not to mention Jeremy’s constant bullying at work, of which you can’t talk to anyone about because expressing your feelings would contradict the beard you’ve spent the past 11 months shaping; we totally get it, and you’re not the only one in this rut!

Jeremy’s been a fucking ass lately, and that’s why we’re introducing a new, unique way to add some spice to our customers’ lives — a way you wouldn’t even think about at a single-star breakfast restaurant — we’re going to put something under your pancakes!

Each type of pancake you decide to order from our freshly renovated menu comes with a different surprise underneath the sweet, delicious stack. What kind of surprise you may ask? That is…a…question! Continuing on, for every set of three pancakes you order, you get an additional surprise sandwiched between them. Blueberry, Banana Nut, or Chocolate Chip, whatever flavor you choose will be accompanied by something that will either really get you going in the morning, or send you directly home where you, a father of two, belong at 3:00 a.m. Confused? We are too! We’re still working on delivering you the best possible surprises we can, but just take a moment to read some reviews by our dedicated customers, and don’t forget to drop down some ideas on our Facebook page!

“Stopped off I-95 for some quick fuel, found a pocket-knife keychain doused in maple syrup when I reached my last cake. I called the waiter over and demanded that she take it back, which she readily agreed to. She said “Sorry for this mistake,” went to the kitchen, and then came back with a single cake and a corkscrew keychain underneath instead, claiming the pocketknife was only for the original pancakes. Total rip off. I mean, do I look like a wine kind of guy?”

• Richard. Chapel Hill, North Carolina

“Took my kids here on our way down to Disney World from Virginia, each of them found a mini lego person who looked JUST like them under their pancakes. It seems as though a whole scheme was going on at this place. The pancakes took well over 45 minutes and I think it was only so the waiters could match the legos to my kids' outfits and hairstyles. It’s like the workers are having a competition with one another, seeing who can take this idea the farthest. Absolutely insane, yet impressive, techniques.”

• Jordan. Richmond, Virginia

“Love this concept! Took my sorry excuse for a husband here, to which he found a piece of glass INSIDE his last pancake! Way to spice up the spice, Pancake Universe! Now I don’t have to file for divorce!”

R.I.P Jeremy 2019

• Johanna G. Some-Southern-City-Nobody-Has-Ever-Heard-of, Georgia

If you’re still unsure about our Surprise Pancakes, this sticky flyer you found smacked onto your windshield can be used as a 50%-off coupon! And if you’re unhappy with the surprise under your pancakes, just tell your server, and we’ll be more than happy to supply you with something very surprising.

Pancake Universe,

proud to be serving you like you’ve never been served before!

Pancake Universe is not responsible for the injuries, mental or physical, that may arise from obtaining the surprise under your pancakes. Pancake Universe hereby retains the right to refuse to offer another surprise under your pancakes and also retains the right to serve you “nothing” as the surprise under your pancakes.